This is post 22/31 of Write 31 Days. See full list HERE.
So there’s this guy. And he’s kind of a jerk. No, he’s a real jerk. But he’s got this way about him that makes it hard to totally ignore him.
I’ve had long conversations with him about myself. We don’t really talk about much besides me. He always wants to talk about me. I don’t know why but he’s got this thing.
Oh no, it’s not like that. He doesn’t have a thing for me. In fact, he doesn’t like me at all. He never has anything nice to say to me. Ever. These are a few things he’s been saying…
This is so stupid, why would you even try doing that?
Nobody’s going to like that. You should just stop now while you’re ahead.
Why don’t you just give all of this up? You’re never going to make it. You’re in such denial.
He also thinks I’m ugly and stupid.
So why do I entertain the conversation? I can’t help it. He gets in my head and stops me in my tracks when I’m trying to push through challenges, try new things and step outside of my comfort zone. And I…sometimes have a hard time not believing him.
This guy is the voice in my head that always has something to say about everything I do. He’s the one that tells me I can’t do it, that I’m not good enough, smart enough or talented enough. He’s always talking smack and trying to tear me down.
Some people call this self-talk. I call him my Inner Idiot cause it’s my own jerk self trying to tell my better self that my life is stupid. It’s most appropriately just simply the devil trying to get airtime in our heads. Which is why I feel like my Inner Idiot voice is a guy. Call it what you will, it’s destructive.
Allowing that kind of trash talk in my head is a seriously dangerous habit that has been one of the hardest things to conquer. Because sometimes I just simply believe the junk. Negative self-talk is sometimes worse than words from a naysayer. A naysayer is an outsider who doesn’t know everything about you. You can dismiss their comments as uninformed and petty. But the stuff that goes on in your head is different cause you know yourself. You know your story, you know your weaknesses, you know the variables, you know what’s at stake. But the key is not to let it stop there.
I’m trying to shut my inner idiot up with better truth. Yes, I have weaknesses, yes I know how challenging the situation is, and yes I know what my track record is. Those are true things. But the bigger and better truth is that God made me for more than all that. He gave me talents, dreams, passions, and things to do with my life and I can’t let trash talk keep me from accomplishing what He put me here on this earth to accomplish.
So whenever the negative garbage starts creeping into your mind, don’t sit there and legitimize it and let it fester. You have to knock it out with the bigger and better, life-giving truth of God’s plan and will for your life. And you just have to start with this: You are loved, you are cherished and you were made for a purpose in this world. It’s a process and it’s not always easy but it’s the best way to shut up my Inner Idiot voice.
Don’t let negative self talk keep you from being the wonderful person you were created to be. You deserve better than that.