Ever read a book and think, man! I wish I could write like that! That author has such a great way with words! Happens to me all the time. And then I look at other blogs. They’ve got amazing graphics and gorgeous type and posts that get shared all over Pinterest. Writer’s confession: I get a tad jealous. Not the green-eyed monster variety, but the wistful sigh kind where you wish them every writerly happiness but wish that you could be like that too. Right now.
It’s like when you’re single and everybody and their mother is either getting engaged, getting married, or having children. You’re happy for them but you can’t help wishing it were your turn too!
And then it goes past wishing. You start comparing. She must be successful because she has this and that. You’re obviously not successful because you don’t posses this and that. She has come this far in her life because she did these things and went to those places. You’re obviously behind schedule because you did not. She’s prettier. She’s more educated. She has more experience. She has more money.
Comparison a vicious cycle. And it kills. It kills your drive, your creativity, your passion, your authenticity, your honesty, and your dreams.
There’s nothing wrong with looking at someone else’s life and taking note of their successes and failures. We can learn from one another and we should. It’s like when you’re at the gym and the person next to you is killing it on the elliptical. You’re inspired and start hustling a little harder yourself. That’s good. But what if you look at that person and start thinking, Man, she’s so good at that! I wish I was that good. I wish I looked that good in yoga pants! I’ll never have such an awesome figure. Her hair even looks good! Why can’t I ever get that messy bun look when I do my hair? I’ll bet she’s got a gorgeous husband and a couple of really great kids too. WHAT IS MY LIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!?!?!?!
Some people are challenged by the people around them and that takes maturity and guts. I’m not naturally like that. I have to work hard at staying in my lane, not paying too much attention to the progress of the people around me, and quit comparing myself to them. Cause the truth is, you don’t know what their life is like. You don’t know what challenges they face or the battles they have to fight every single day. You don’t know what it cost them to get where they are. You don’t know how long it took them to get there. If you did know, you wouldn’t be so quick to compare.
Every life has a back story. Every victory has its moments of defeat. We can’t judge a life based on the snapshot view we have. We can’t compare our whole experience to the few details we know about someone else. It doesn’t work that way. You have to be honest with yourself and willing to be authentic with everyone else. This is your story. God has unique plans for your life. None of that is going to look like anyone else’s experience and you wouldn’t want it to.
Don’t let comparison kill. You don’t want to look back years from now wishing you had been your best self rather a cheap knock off brand of someone else.